How to Support Your Pregnant Friend: 15 Things to Do That Help
It’s not hard to support a pregnant friend, especially when you have lots of ideas at your fingertips. In this list, find the ways that I think are the most helpful, having been the pregnant friend myself!
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I’m currently pregnant, and being supported and “seen” by close friends of mine means the world when I’m going through this very unique time in my life!
In this guide to how to support your pregnant friend, take it from me: I’m in my second pregnancy, and I’ve been both on the supporting end AND the “supported” end of a pregnant woman relationship.
I’m always thinking of new ways to both feel supported as a pregnant friend, and in how to support my pregnant friends. You can use this list to creatively think of new ways to make your friend feel special during one of life’s most special times.
Text her to check in, and listen to how she’s feeling
Pregnancy is not always the beautiful and romantic experience that’s marketed in ads, social media and on the Internet. A lot of pregnancy is feeling achey, tired, nauseous, worried, anxious, sleepy and stressed.
Sound fun? I guess it’s not really so great, but it is an experience that leads to a baby you hope to love. In any case, a pregnant friend is always happy to get a text or call from you, especially if she is having a tough time (and might not be showing it).
Send a quick text like, “How are you doing?” or “How are you feeling this week?” and you may get a reply that reads, “Great!” or it may be, “This week is a challenge.”
If your friend is having a tough time (which could be related to anything, from gestational diabetes, to finding out in an ultrasound that the baby’s development has a problem), she’ll want someone to talk to.
Remember never to pry: she’ll talk to you about anything she feels comfortable with, especially if you are close. I’m currently pregnant, and I too am the friend reaching out to other pregnant friends with this exact text above, to listen in on how things are going for buddies I care about.
FaceTime her (and her partner!)
Make a FaceTime date! She’ll show off her baby bump if she wants to. Even better, make a FaceTime double date, especially if you and your partner are both friends with the expecting couple. Dads matter, too!
FaceTiming can really hone in on how your friend is progressing in her pregnancy experience, and find out casually if she needs any extra support you may not have thought of. Be sure not to ask to see how her body is changing. She will stand up and show you if she feels comfortable with it, as pregnancy wears differently on women from here to there, and a first pregnancy can even be really different from a second.
Send a funny pregnancy meme or video (but not too many)
I learned quickly during my first pregnancy that funny memes and social media reels are not everyone’s love language. My social media feeds were FULL of pregnancy things, like women with baby bumps bumping into walls, or pregnancy fashion, you know: a bit of everything.
I had some friends who were pregnant at the time and thought it would be cute to send them the ones I thought were funny! But… not everyone has the same sense of humor, and some women don’t even want to be reminded that they’re “very pregnant.”
Help plan and organize her last hurrah
I’m really not sure how many women choose to do this, but I’ve always dreamed of having a ‘one last hurrah’ before my baby comes so that I can see all my friends to have a girls night out.
It would be even cooler if a friend stepped up to support me in this way, by either making it a surprise, or choosing where to have a night out (somewhere where I can drink a mocktail, of course!).
Get manicures or pedicures together
My guilty pleasure, or really just my favorite thing to do, while pregnant, is to get a pedicure. There’s something luxurious about it that I just keep wanting, even if it’s winter.
Would I, as a pregnant woman, like to go with a friend? Of course! I’d love if a friend could support me by asking if I want to go on a mani-pedi date, and then get our nails done wild colors. And I definintely want this in my 9th month, knowing that I probably won’t get out of the house for quite a few weeks with time to myself, after the baby arrives.
Go over her house to cook her “freezer meals”
“Freezer meals:” everyone pregnant talks about them, but what are they? Freezer meals are the meals you pull out of the freezer and quickly warm up, during your newborn’s first days when everything is overwhelming and the thought of cooking seems impossible. It’s hard to believe, but it’s all true.
So, your pregnant friend surely wants some delicious freezer meals, especially ones that her bestie made, so that she can think of your friendship while she’s sleep deprived, exhausted and feeding her tiny newborn around the clock for the first few weeks.
Make a date with her to go to her house with ingredients for easy meals that can be frozen and then warmed up. This list of freezer meal ideas from Happiest Baby is awesome!
Share her registry with friends and family
Some pregnant women are hesitant to share their baby registry out with friends and family, and for good reason! It feels like asking for gifts, which no one wants to do (unless she’s having a baby shower).
Take initiative and support her by sending out her registry by text or email, right around when the baby is born (not too far beforehand—that’s a little weird). This is best done if the baby has been born and you want to help everyone get her the gifts she wants and needs, not excessive gifts she’d want to return. That’s something that I would appreciate!
You can also help your friend add and plan to her registry, before her baby comes! Look through lists of the best baby registry essentials as well as what to put on a registry for a second child.
Go out to dinner together and catch up
During my first pregnancy, I made a point of making sure I could see all my friends one on one before I went into my last month of pregnancy and my upcoming cave of newborn life. It would’ve been nice if those friends had reached out first to make dates with me, as well!
My pregnancy craving was Thai curry, so I wanted to eat that with literally everyone. I went out to dinner with my cousin, with my best friends, with close friends and even with not-so-close friends, to get some time in and not feel so alone.
If you’re looking for a way to make your pregnant friend feel special, invite her to a dinner date and ask what she’s craving. Then, make a time and date, or a reservation, get dressed up and enjoy!
Do a workout or yoga class together
It’s important to know that pregnancy workouts are slightly different from “regular people workouts”—but not too different! Pregnancy workouts accommodate certain positions that should be avoided, like a pregnant woman being on her back, or on her front-side, or getting her heart rate up too high.
But for everything else, pregnant women can certainly work out, and we love to do it with a friend. While most prenatal yoga classes (in studio) will require you to be pregnant (if you went to a prenatal yoga class while you weren’t pregnant, that might be strange), you can go with your friend to a regular Level 0 or Basic Yoga class and ask the teacher to provide amendments or ways to abridge the positions for a pregnant woman.
I’ve done this before, I promise! The yoga studio that was walking distance to my apartment during my first pregnancy did not have prenatal yoga classes, but rather, had a “Level 0” class that I’d attend, and I’d ask the teacher to help me avoid being on my back or my belly, and to do an alternative pose. This is a fun thing to do together as friends!
Send her chocolate (or a cute non-alcoholic drink)
I recently brought over two specialty chocolate treats to a friend’s wife who is currently breastfeeding with a newborn, and she was soooo appreciative. The same goes for pregnancy women, though: we have cravings, and chocolate is ALWAYS welcome!
Once the first trimester is done, “eating whatever I want” has ensued. This means my sweet tooth kicks in, I eat whatever makes me feel happy and I welcome gifts of any sort.
If you’re looking for a gift to send your pregnant gal pal, send some cute chocolately sweets (or a non-alcoholic wine—just make sure it’s a sparkling juice and NOT an “alcohol-removed” wine, which some pregnant women may choose to avoid).
Offer to help with baby setup or “nesting”
For me, “nesting” means washing and sorting baby clothes and deep cleaning the house. This is totally more fun with a friend, so if you want to support your pregnant pal, offer to come over and help with anything that needs to be done before her baby is coming.
This is an especially important way to help out your pregnant friend if she’s on bed rest for her final month of pregnancy, or if she’s been hit with extreme fatigue, nausea or pains of any sort that keep her from being too active. She’d LOVE if you could help fold onesies, wash baby blankets and burp cloths or set up the pacifier bin. Any of these things are a great support method.
Take her out for a maternity photo shoot!
While this is something that I did with Dan, especially during my first pregnancy when my new baby bump was exciting, it’s not something that all spouses are even capable of. After all, any pregnant mama wants her maternity shoot to be from someone with a creative eye, and who is steady with a camera!
If you can be the friend who has a knack for a good photo, take your pregnant friend out somewhere scenic and shoot nice maternity photos she can remember forever! That is such a nice way to support her as her baby bump grows.
Be real with her
Honestly, I felt that pregnancy and what came afterward (birth and the newborn phase) were somehow pretty sugarcoated for me. Maybe I didn’t ask quite enough. I knew about labor and delivery complications, but I never really considered just how tired I’d be in the days following the birth and HOW HARD IT IS to take care of a baby when you aren’t given an instructional manual.
So, if you’ve had a child before and you want to support another pregnant friend, give her some real tips that “actually”’ helped. Remember to avoid giving her too many tips, or tips that don’t tend to work for everyone, or tips that may make her scared and anxious during her 9th month of pregnancy, for example.
Give her constructive tips, like, “I brought my own towels to the hospital, and that turned out to be a total waste of space in my bags!” or, “It’s great that your parents live nearby. Remember to ask them to do your laundry as often as you can.”
Propose to come over to carry stuff up or down the stairs
If your pregnant friend’s partner or spouse is busy with work or has long days commuting, offer to come over one weeknight and “carry anything she needs up and down the stairs.” That is, if she lives in a house with steps!
Starting around the third trimester, pregnant women whose babies inside have gotten pretty sizable can get really out of breath and exhausted, just by climbing a flight of stairs! If your friend got any packages of nursery furniture, or baby products like diapers and wipes (those get heavy), offer to come over, hang out and carry the boxes to wherever they need to go.
It sounds like a funny thing, but trust me: this is super supportive and helpful, especially because a lot of doctors recommend for pregnant women to not carry anything above 20 pounds (and that’s generous) toward the end of pregnancy!
Suggest that you can watch her toddler or other kid
If your pregnant friend is expecting her second or third child, offer to come over and play with her little one so that she can rest or get things done around the house.
Yes, it’s a valid offer: her partner may be busy with housework or with getting ready for the baby, and another set of hands is ALWAYS appreciated, especially if she is in the final stretch of pregnancy.
Tell her she (seriously) looks amazing!
Just like in my ways to support your pregnant wife, TELL YOUR PREGNANT FRIEND SHE LOOKS INCREDIBLE! Tell her this if she posts a photo, or if she sends you one or even if she just says, “I feel gigantic.” Tell her she looks amazing and is carrying pregnancy well.
Believe me: it will mean everything in the world to boost her spirits if she knows she looks great during such a tough time for so many women.
