We hit a point in our parenting journey with our first child where we finally felt like we had the swing of things. Our daughter was a year and a half, learning how to communicate with us, happy, easygoing and fun. And we were having fun being parents, too.

Was it time for our next challenge to be another baby?

While we couldn’t be sure we were totally ready, there were a few ways to know, and things we thought about, to decide if we were ready for child #2. In this list of signs, see the real things I considered!

You finally feel recovered from pregnancy #1

I felt recovered from pregnancy #1 by about four months postpartum, but I really felt like myself again half a year after the birth. And I even fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes a year after our baby’s birth, so to me, that felt like 100% (even though you never really recover, do you?).

I think to me, being ready for a second child meant having my body back: feeling physically fit again, weaning from nursing, getting good sleep, having some time carved out for small hobbies and having good energy levels. This is different for everyone.

Once you hit that sweet spot, you’ll think, “Maybe I’m ready to try for a second baby.”

You look back on the newborn days and feel ready for it again

We feel like totally different people since the people we were during our newborn days. I mean, it was not easy: figuring out how to survive winter with a newborn was a challenge I didn’t know I signed up for.

But we made one promise: we’d avoid having a “winter baby,” and we think things can be better if we have our baby in spring, summer or fall (by the way, this is our preference from our rough experience).

But we look back at having a newborn and what we’ve been told is that “it’s easier the second time around.” I hope that applies to getting sleep with a newborn, above everything else!

I think that knowing what to expect at most steps of the way will help out a lot with a second.

Your first child is in a good spot

I think this is what happened to us: our daughter plays independently, is doing well at daycare, is polite and well-mannered, does well with new people and strangers, eats well and sleeps well. We really can’t ask for much more.

With that being said, we’ve been thinking about if we’re ready for a new challenge. Given, she’ll turn into MORE of a toddler soon, with more words, more opinions and more ways to get in trouble, but we have to think positively about it.

If our first child is such a joy, are we ready for a second?

You want a playmate for your first child

A lot of times, we have playdates with our friends who have one child our daughter’s age, and one child who’s 4. We love seeing them interact and play together, and it’s adorable how much they love each other.

When we come home to our house with our toddler daughter and it’s just the three of us in the house, I can’t help but think: What if she had another little playmate? Someone new to love, and with whom to share toys with and play games?

That’s when I knew it was time to discuss a second child.

You’re feeling the pressures of aging

I got pregnant at 34, and I was still 34 when our baby was born. I was on the cusp of being considered “advanced maternal age (AMA)”—a term applied to moms 35 and over. In my head, I calculated that if we ever wanted to have three kids, I wanted to do that all before 40.

So, we had to get started with planning our family.

While I never wanted to be a mom at 25 (I enjoyed my 20s, and my early 30s, being child-free), I’ve been just a wee bit jealous sometimes that younger moms are going to have more energy when their youngest kids are still young. They’ll also get them out of the house “sooner,” relative to mine.

If you don’t want to be much older than you are now, when you have your second, maybe it’s time to start working on having a another baby (whether via natural birth, IVF, surrogacy or adoption).

Your finances are in order

Everyone knows that babies cost a lot of money. Well, I certainly found out that they did!

Here’s my suggestion: We looked at our bank accounts after a year of having our first child and talked about if a second child would be a strain. After all, we had to consider things like a nanny vs daycare now that there would be two kids.

We thought about if there would be ways to save, or if two kids in daycare would be unaffordable, in the high-cost-of-living area where we live.

If you feel confident about finances, then take it from me: maybe it’s time for baby #2!

You have the right type of help nearby

I see my friends with two and three kids, and I think, “How are they DOING this?”

My two friends with three kids both have their parents nearby, and one of my friends has an au pair who has helped their family manage the two kids under two. For us, just one child required significant help (grandparents to babysit so we can go out, or just catch a break), but with two…yikes!?

My advice: If you have the correct type of help set up, maybe you’re now ready for a second child! Whether it’s family members, live-in help, a nanny, a babysitter or daycare, consider if the right type of help could make having a second child doable.

You’ve been assessing what you’d do “differently” with another baby

Even when our daughter turned one, we looked back at the times when she was three and four months old and talked about what we’d do differently with a second child. We mulled over what we’d obsess about a bit less, or how we’d read sleep and hunger cues better, or how Dan could support me as a breastfeeding mom with even more improvement.

If you’re able to take your experiences from your first child, compartmentalize them and make plans for how to level-up with a second child, you may be ready for another baby.

You have baby fever

Yes, I admit it: I have total baby fever. Starting around when my daughter was 16 months, I’d see newborns and little babies and have total baby envy. Little babies are so cute, and squishy, and floppy! I had a friend visit with her 12-week-old and I wanted to hold him the entire time.

If you have strong desires to have another little baby in your life, maybe it’s time for a second child (or to borrow a friend’s baby for a day, LOL!).

You both agree on a second child

Forget the rest of these signs you’d be ready to have a second child—both parents have to agree that it’s time for a new baby in the house!

Most couples have been through the questions to ask before a baby arrives, so you probably know if one partner wants two kids, and the other wants just one. But behold the importance of this agreement!

For us, a second child was always in the plan, so neither of us needed to convince the other.

You have the SPACE

I know plenty of families who reap the benefits of apartment living with a baby and have their kids share a room when the younger one is old enough to handle it. For everyone else, we’re probably talking about space in a house, and a proper number of bedrooms.

We bought our house with a few layouts in mind if we had a second….and then a third kid (that’s for the future!). We even referred to Dan’s office as his now-office and future-nursery, so this plan was totally in the cards for us.

If you have the space ready to add a new little person in the family, by all means: it is time for a second child!

Conclusion

There’s no right time or best time to have a second child, and some couples start trying sooner rather than later, in hopes that they can conceive rather than find out that they can’t.

If you’re ready for a second child, you may know it in your heart, like I did! But remember: if you’re not ready for a second baby, that is OK, too. Not everyone wants to jump into being pregnant again, having two children to juggle or the financial strain of two little kids.

So, there’s lots to think about, and I hope this list was a helpful tool for you and your partner. If you’re having some luck with the journey to a second child, feel free to peruse my list of what to put on a baby registry for a second child.